


Alone

by xsticknoodlesx



Series: Reader Inserts [11]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Crying, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Mild Hurt/Comfort, More Like Accepting Death, Reader-Insert, Suicidal Thoughts, This is really sad, like kind of, no happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-08
Updated: 2020-02-08
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:20:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22619269
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xsticknoodlesx/pseuds/xsticknoodlesx
Summary: After Loki's death at the hands of Thanos, you do your best to fight on and be strong but in the end, it doesn't matter. Without him, you realise how truly alone you are and wonder if loving him had made you weak.
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Series: Reader Inserts [11]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1417174
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> So someone commented on my fanfiction "Lies" (which is in this series as well and features the reader having a vision of Loki's death) and said how it brought tears to their eyes. And since I'm kind of a douce, I decided to write something **even** sadder.
> 
> The beginning is from the fanfiction "Lies", so don't wonder why it's the same. In this, however, the reader doesn't have clairvoyance powers but rather some that are similar to Wanda's.
> 
> Enjoy, as much as you can ^^

“You will never be a god.“ Were the last words you would ever hear of Loki, the man you loved more than anything and who had promised you to always be by your side.

The horrific crack that could be heard as his neck snapped in two, made you fall to your hands and knees. You tried your hardest not to break down, throw up, cry or all of these things combined, in that order. Tears ran down your face as you saw your lover’s dead body fall limp onto the floor.

“No resurrections this time.”

You crawled over to Loki, not even caring if Thanos was already gone or if he would kill you, too. The only thing you had left was Loki. Thanos had destroyed your home, murdered everyone you held dear and now he had taken the only person who you had left. Crying your heart out seemed like the reasonable thing to do as you let yourself fall halfway onto Loki’s chest.

Your body wracked with sobs as you felt for a heartbeat at his wrist, his chest or anywhere that you hadn’t checked before. Yet, you did detect no heartbeat. Loki was dead and you would never see him again.

Never again would you hear his voice. Never again would he tease you, trick you or prank you. Never again would you feel his warmth or see his smile. Never again would he hold you. And funny enough the first thought that popped in your head was to talk to Loki about this and find comfort in him, but that could never happen again.

Another sob wracked your body as you came to terms with the fact that he was in fact dead. You didn’t know what to do or how to move on from this. In the background, you could hear Thor calling out to you but you didn’t listen.

When you didn’t listen, Thor tried to drag you away, his own eyes filled with tears. You didn’t listen; you just clung to Loki’s body harder. Thor eventually sat down next to you, apparently giving up on trying to move you, tears now running down his face.

You didn’t look at him, didn’t talk to him. All you did was cling to Loki and cry as you felt the warmth leaving his body.

Nothing mattered anymore. Loki was dead.

Slowly, Thor’s voice drang through your thoughts of despair. “We need to leave! Are you listening to me? Do you hear me?”

You turned to him, tears streaking your cheeks. “He took everything from me.”

“(Y/N), we need to get to Midgard. We need to stop him.”

“Why? He took everything from me. What do I have left to fight for?”

“Don’t say that.”

“But he did! He killed my family, destroyed my home planet and now he’s killed Loki, the only one who stuck around through all my despair, the only one that still loved me, the only one I had left!” You screeched, more tears falling from your cheeks.

“You have me.” Thor said in earnest. “I am just as devasted as you are but you are my friend and I will be there until the very end. We can still defeat him.”

“How?”

“We will find a way.”

\---

Stopping Thanos proofed to be harder than expected. When he eventually arrived in Wakanda, large armies in his tail and destruction in his path, he felt yourself freeze all over. There he stood, mighty and powerful, the gauntlet on his hand – the hand that took Loki from you, the one that choked the life out of him.

Your fear was quickly replaced with anger as you saw him stand there all high and mighty, after all he had done not only to you but the universe. Images of the telegram that informed you of your planet’s destruction, of your family’s death filled your mind, images of the way he had taunted you over your lost home when he finally met you again, images of Loki’s dead body lying on the ground. 

Tendrils of your powers sparked at the tips of your fingers, blue magic engulfing your hands. Thanos stood before you, intend on taking more from you, intend on taking more from the universe than he already had. White-hot rage filled you. You were more than ready to fight him, even if it meant your own demise. You wouldn’t let him get away with taking Loki from you, too. 

Loki was gone now, too. You had nothing more to lose. You would have your revenge.

As Thanos’ army charged you were glad that your teammates were at your side. Just the sight of all of Wakanda, along with other heroes fighting side by side, leaving differences and fights aside, gave you a sense of community that strengthened you.

You and your teammates fought for hours, being injured and injuring the opponents. The fight seemed pointless in the end as more and more of Thanos’ men kept appearing. At one point you ended up pinned to a three by Proxima Midnight, her ridiculing words about your weakness of loving Loki paining you more than anything. But you managed to blast her away, a hue of blue slamming her away from you against a nearby tree. 

You were glad to be rid of her and her ridicule but when you turned you came face to face with Thanos. Before you could even react, he had you by the neck, pressing you to a tree.

“Tell me where the Mind Stone is.” He demanded. “Where are your people hiding it?”

Of course, you denied, struggling in his grip and to your horror, your powers proved useless to him with the stones he already possessed. “I will never tell you!”

“Then I shall dispose of you, as well.”

You swallowed against your fear. Never would you tell him where the stone was, never would you betray the universe like that. Even if he killed you, at least he would be none the wiser to the location of the stone. A little voice in your head was telling you that at least in death you could be with Loki again.

“You took everything from me.” You spat at him, grabbing his fingers that were wrapped around your throat but not squeezing hard enough to restrict oxygen. “I will never turn over the stone to you.”

“Everything?” He then began to laugh, tauntingly as if he could ever understand the pain you were in. “Does Loki hold such a dear place in your heart?”

“You destroyed my planet, murdered my people and my family. Then you took the only one I had left.” You hissed, your voice like venom. “But he was right; he was so right about you. You will never be a god. Your tyrannical ways will never work.”

“Why is that?” He squeezed a bit tighter. “Tell me if you are oh so wise.”

“As long as there is injustice there will always be resistance.” You said in earnest though you were in tears. “As long as there is tyranny there will always be revolution. You will never find peace, you will never find glory or power and you will never be a god.”

“You are pathetic.” He shook his head. “The universe is on the brink of chaos and you mourn one being?”

“You would never understand, no matter how hard you try.” 

“And why is that?”

“Because you don’t know what it is to love. You have never in your life felt selfless love for someone, the kind of love that makes you strong and weak at the same time, the kind of love that makes you fight, the kind of love that makes you chose their happiness over yours.”

“How touching. Is that what you felt for Loki? You are weak because you allowed yourself to love someone this much. Your love will be your undoing!”

“Then so be it.” You closed your eyes, tears falling down your cheeks. “I may have lost love. But the greatest tragedy of all is never to feel the warmth of love.”

“Pathetic.”

You pressed your eyes shut but to your surprise, he dropped you and you fell to your knees. When you looked up he was gone. Tears were still rolling down your cheeks but as quickly as you could, you got to your feet and made your way to the rest of your team, your abilities lifting you in the air and carrying you. When you found Steve, you plopped down next to him.

“He knows the Mind Stone is here.” You stammered out. “He found me in the forest, threatened me to tell him but I wouldn’t.”

“And he let you go?”

“Perhaps he knows its location by now. Maybe I was of no use.” 

“Are you crying?”

“He kept taunting me.” You sobbed out. “I am so weak for having loved Loki so much that his death is my undoing.”

“No.” Steve said sternly. “You are terribly strong for fighting on even in the face of such horrible heartbreak. Loki would be proud of you.”

“You barely knew him.” You wiped your eyes.

“I knew him enough to know.”

Bucky cleared his throat. “Even though I agree with Steve, we need to concentrate now. Where is Thanos?”

You looked at Bucky, tears in your eyes. “He tried to get the location of Vision’s stone from me but- but I wouldn’t tell him. I think he knows anyway. He stopped talking to me and simply disappeared. Maybe someone told him.”

“Let’s not assume the worst.”

“It’s pretty obvious where the stone may be.” You looked at Steve. 

\---

Vision was destroyed, Wanda was crying next to his body, Thor didn't go for the head, the stone was in Thanos’ hands and the mad titan was gone. You looked around your teammates as everyone was clueless on what to do. 

“I was alone with him.” You confessed. “I could have killed him but I was too weak. Ever since Loki’s death, I feel so- so empty and maybe I let my emotions get the best of me. I should have been stronger, like Wanda.”

“(Y/N), no one blames you.” The woman said softly. “We all failed. This is no on you. I’m sorry about Loki, I really am. You were so genuinely happy with him.”

You looked at her, nodding slowly. “I am also sorry about Vision, Wanda. I know how much he meant to you. If he were still with us he would be proud of you.”

“As would Loki be if he knew how hard you fought without him.”

“Still, we lost.” You tried your hardest not to break down crying again. All that kept you together was that your friends were still there.

“(Y/N), if anyone is to blame, it’s me.” Thor said softly.

“It was a mistake. You had no idea that a fucking axe to the chest wouldn’t kill him. Anyone else would have been dead.” You said and shook your head. “No one is to blame but Thanos. He is a tyrant and a murderer. He took so many innocent lives, not only on my home planet but also in the whole galaxy. I just pray that the others can defeat him.”

But as you waited, all of you knew that something wasn’t right. You heard nothing from either of the others that were still out there with Thanos. Something was not right and you knew it.

Your fears were proven right when suddenly you heard people start to exclaim nearby. When you turned they were turning to dust. You heard Wanda scream in fear next to you as you watched her slowly turn to dust. Unsure of what to do, you looked at Steve for help but he was busy trying to hold Sam and Bucky together as they as well turned to nothing but dust.

Then with horror, you realised that you felt strange and when you looked down you saw your hand slowly turning grey. You tried to move your finger but they immediately turned to dust. Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked around, trying to find some help or at least solace in your friends. But all of them had someone else they were trying to help. Not even Thor was looking at you; he just seemed shocked by how many people were turning to dust. Without Loki, you were truly alone.

Slowly, however, your fear turned to hope. As you fell to your knees, your arms turning to dust and your legs disappearing, you had hope. Images of your past with Loki flashed before your eyes, memories of his laugh, his smile, the sparkle in his eyes when he had talked to you, the way he had held you or how safe you had felt. And you dared to hope that he would see you again.

Maybe in your final moments, you could allow yourself to be weak enough to hope that you would see him again. And maybe, just maybe there was a chance. 

With that perspective, you felt calm. You accepted your fate. You were at peace.

Because finally you were again _hopeful_.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it as much as possible with this. Leave a Comment or Kudos if you did and want to.  
> If you have any other requests, you can always ask me to write it. ^^
> 
> See you soon ^^


End file.
